Polite and literature

My mom often reiterated this phase to me when I was a little boy, “Tien hoc le, Hau hoc van” which roughly translates to “Politeness should be learnt first, before literature”. This means that first you have to be polite to your elders and then you can learn the alphabet. This quote signifies the importance of showing politeness to the elders compared to learning the literature. Also, this quote maintain tradition of my country. Right before I left for America, my mother took me aside and, she told me to always remember and never forget to maintain the Vietnamese cultural traditions even in America. I still remember those words vividly and I will always try to maintain the Vietnamese cultural traditions. However, it is not easy to be in America and practice my tradition or express my values. Since America is different to Vietnam, I find it difficult adjusting to the American culture. In America is hard for me to explore the idea of education, meaning of friendship and family in America comparing to Vietnam.

Education is very important in my home town, but more importantly, is the teacher. One of the quotes that we learned when we were very young is “Khong thay do may lam len”, which means without a teacher you will be nothing. That is why in Vietnam, teachers get a great deal of respect. We bow to our teachers every time we see them. We don’t argue with them or talk back to them. We obey them. In America, teachers don’t get the same respect that they deserve. Students argue with them, curse at them and even worse yell at them. It was very difficult for me to see teachers being treated like that when I first came here, but I couldn’t defend them. Vietnamese and American are two opposite polar when it comes to respecting our teachers. But I still try my best to show my teachers respect. I can’t bow to them because I did that a first couple of times and other students made fun of me. Plus, in America, people don’t bow. It took me a couple of months, but slowly without realizing it, I stopped bowing to the teacher. Even more, students think that I have an ulterior motive for being nice to my teachers. But still, I will always show and give my teachers my utmost respect.

Friendship has completely different meaning here in America. Since America is so diverse, most of the friends I have here are of different culture and background. In Vietnam, friends are like family; they are honest and sincere. Since we shared the same cultural values and religion, we were able to go play together, go to church together and do many things together. However, since it’s so diverse, most often, I don’t share the same religion or cultural practices with my friends, let alone values. Therefore, things that I was able to do with my friends in Vietnam, I can’t with my friends here in America. But one thing I still can do is go out to eat and movies with my friends.

The last thing that is quite different in America compare to Vietnam is the definition of family. In Vietnam, the definition of family is, mom, dad, children, and grandparents. A family does many things together, but the minimum least a family does eat together at least one meal a day. Here in America, I live with my brother and sister, we all have different schedule, so we often eat different times, and we rarely sit down for dinner. Also, family is not just your related blood; we have neighbors that we consider like family. In Vietnam, we used to the neighbor when we needed help, we communicate with them, we confide in them and we trust them. But here, there were many times when I try communicating with my neighbor, and they just ignore me. I even brought them food over the holidays, not only they did not reciprocate, they still seem so strange and unfriendly. I guess in America, people have a hard time trusting each other.

America and Vietnam are two polar opposites when it comes to cultural, values and tradition. From the above example, one can see that education, friendship and family have very different meaning in these two countries. I will try my best to learn the greatest and best things in America. But I will never forget my mother is favorite quote that she often tells me over the phone “Uong nuoc nho nguon” this means when you drink the water, you must remember the source. She wants to remind me to never forget where I come from and never forget the values and tradition from there. Even though I am living in the US, it’s difficult to show my values and practice my tradition everyday, but I will never forget where I come from, and I will forever hold on to my values and tradition even if I don’t get to express it everyday.